I am sure all of you are lying awake at night worrying that I won't like the present you give me... afraid that it will be you that ruins Christmas for everyone by presenting your oldest brother/first born (most loved) son with a less than optimal holiday offering... I understand why you are so concerned... that would be an absolute tragedy and it would probably take the better part of a decade for you to repair our relationship.
This year, for your convenience, I have decided to initiate a tiered system of gift requests... they are listed here in order of price which directly correlates to how much you love me... and furthermore... will set the bar for how much I will love you for the rest of the year...
For example... if you choose to pick from one of the tier three or four gift categories I will know (without you having to even say anything) that you do not love me enough to make a real financial commitment to our relationship and in turn I will not feel bad when I miss your birthday, stop speaking to you and forget your name.
Again, I took the time out of MY day to make this process easier for YOU because I could tell how much you were all laboring over how you were going to make sure I was properly thanked for being the best (looking and otherwise) brother/son any of you could ever have hoped to have. Sometimes it makes me almost cry when I think how lucky you must feel to have me... you guys really have it good... thank god Christmas exists so you can properly applaud me.
Hugz,
David Samuel
Tier One:
These are most likely things I will be buying for myself to show myself how much I love myself... but if a couple of you would like to band together and form an alliance to make sure all of your birthdays/names are never forgotten I would like to extend to you that chance.
The little Bits Korg Synth Kit is sure to provide me with hours of enjoyment making nonsensical electronic racket that is sure to give my dog and anyone else around me anxiety for weeks and weeks... it is SUPERRRR cool and will 100% guarantee those who invest in it for me a spot (albeit a small one) somewhere vaguely near my heart.
Equally as desirable and obnoxious as the build it yourself kit is this standalone annoyance machine. There are three synths in the product line but if I had to pick one I would get the bass. They do carry these at guitar center and will price match online retailers if you are one of those brick and mortar types.
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This looks like a Vans but has a N on the side. I would enjoy wearing this on my feet very much.
I dont know how many of you are aware of this but I am now a sushi chef. I have been trying to find one of these rice bowls in Chicago but I cant... luckily you can find it for me on the internets!
This is from france... it is rare and I doubt the seller is even speaks English but I want it.
These little black things hold the needle on the arm of a turntable so you can hear the muziks. Panasonic stopped making technics stuff two years ago so these are all refurbished or the last of their kind... either way I am collecting as many as I can... Currently I have Zero...
If I dont get to wear this Totoro Costume soon I am going to freak out. One of you or some of you have to get me this... this is priority number ONE
Some of you might not know this but I crashed the radioedit RC helicopter about two hours after we bought it... we need these parts to continue our flight training
TIER 2
gift certificates to restaurants
nice flannel shirts size large
Boxer briefs
socks
*this is a work in Progress... only posted it so I could be first. I win
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