Consumerism is the true spirit of Christmas.

Although I live but a simple life, and believe that one’s existence does not consist in the abundance of his possessions, I have been forced against my will to participate in this tradition of covetousness.

Reluctantly and humbly, I ask only for gold.

If you are but a pleb and cannot afford this, I request:

High Quality Tea (I only drink black, thank you.)
Candles (No florals or fruit scents, thanks so much.)
All Black Oversized Scarf (Oversized or death, thnx.)
Water Bottle (Not stainless steel and you're not doing it right, sweetie.)
Charcoal, Grey or Navy Merino Wool Socks (I don't do patterns, hun.)
And of course, books. No indoctrination, please.

All of you are my favorite!

Mar